Me as Principal. Me as Dad.
Why is it that as a principal I can be calm and collected when dealing with unruly children? Why am I able to dish out discipline and yet maintain the child’s dignity as a principal? Why am I able to think logically and with deliberate calculation on how I’m going to proceed with consequences for a student? Yet, when it comes to my stepdaughter I immediately become incompetent? She transgresses, I begin well enough with a calm voice and try to point out the misguided behavior, and then she says one thing and *boom* an all out yelling session ensues.
I have become so frustrated that I revert to childlike behavior. I resent her using anything that belongs to me. Even, if its something like my Xbox. It’s not like she’s going to hurt it or consume something I would never get back. Yet, I feel that if she can’t respect me then she can’t use my stuff. It’s not right. I know it’s not. Yet, I feel that way anyways and I can’t detach like I do as a principal.
Because you have that emotional attachment that you don’t have with your students – you know you have to live with this girl *hugs*
michmolk
May 26, 2008
Agree with Mich. It’s that simple.
And don’t be too hard on yourself. When someone is going hard after your Big Red Button (you know; the one attached to the steam-valves in your ears?), it’s very very hard to remain non-anxious and Ghandi-like. It’s worth aiming at the Ghandi thing, but you’re only human … and you’re still not a bad guy.
But with my normal male problem-solving-hat askew on my head I still feel like asking “What’s one SMALL behaviour you can transfer from school to home, rather than your entire professional box of tricks?”
Pete Aldin
June 3, 2008
And maybe there’s something in that “If it’s taller than you, then climb it.” principle I heard someone say once.
Pete Aldin
June 3, 2008
Work is work, family… well that’s jungle!
Danielle
June 5, 2008
@ Michelee. Thanks for the hugs. You are right their is an emotional attachment. Right now the emotions are all basically: anger, pain, frustration, anger-so much anger. I personally am convinced that she’s out to get me.
@ Pete The one thing I’m trying to do at the moment is to remind myself not to take it personally. See comment @ Michelle. As an educator I know that since she grew up with little discipline or expectations that she is going to resent having such things now. I also know that much of what she is doing is normal for her age as she is seeking her own identity and much of the frustrations she experiences at school are terrifying to express at school, so she vents at a safe place-home. So, what she is doing is not really personal, but it is hard to remember that in the heat of the moment.
@ Danielle Isn’t that the truth?
jonathanpippenger
June 5, 2008